You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
