I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
