I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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