got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
