You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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