She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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