This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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