UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
