Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
