you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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