I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
