I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
