There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
