what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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