Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
