He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
