Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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