If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
