you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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