Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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