Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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