so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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