what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
