i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
