so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I will pee on everything he values.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
