To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
