This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
