Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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