I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
