He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
