Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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