How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
it's like iHOP with fire
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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