two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
