sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
