New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
