Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dignity is for republicans.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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