At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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