he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
