Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
