It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
