If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
