I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
