Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
