To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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