Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
