No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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