She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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