i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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