If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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