So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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