I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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