Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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